Thankful for Lent. Again.

You might remember this post from last year. I tried to look at Lent in a new way - to be thankful for the time I was given to prepare myself for the mystery of Easter and to use the talents that I was given to better myself as a wife, mother, friend and child of God.

If you read my blog (especially if you check in on Fridays), you know that I am currently participating in the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. Following a set schedule, I will read through the entire Bible in 90 days. I am on schedule with my readings - today is Day 48, so I am more than halfway through.

For the past few days, I've been thinking a lot about Lent. I've looked at my thoughts from last year, as well as several other posts that I have written since then. I knew that God was calling me to really challenge myself during this upcoming Lenten season, but I wasn't quite sure how. Then I read Proverbs.

He who guards his mouth protects his life;
to open wide one's lips brings downfall. (Pro 13:3)

What's that? Are you talking to me, God?

The tongue of a wise man pours out knowledge,
but the mouth of fools spurts forth folly. (Pro 15:2)

Folly? Really, Lord? Well, I guess that I would prefer to be wise than foolish...

The just man weighs well his utterance,
but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil. (Pro 15:28)

Pours out evil? Am I pouring out evil?

Pleasing words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the taste and healthful to the body. (Pro 16:24)

Sweet and healthy? That sounds much better than pouring out evil, doesn't it?

It is good sense in a man to be slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (Pro 19:11)

Lord, I'm beginning to think that you're trying to tell me something...

He who guards his mouth and his tongue
keeps himself from trouble. (Pro 21: 23)

I think I get where you're going with this God. But it's going to be pretty hard, isn't it?

The fool gives vent to all his anger;
but by biding his time, the wise man calms it. (Pro 29:11)

So, after re-reading some of these verses, I realized that God was indeed challenging me. He wants me to watch my words. He wants the utterances of my mouth to be sweet and pleasing to Him, and He wants my words to show wisdom and bring calm.

Let me be honest here for a minute: I am not a naturally calm person. I get upset. I fume. I complain. Sometimes I even yell and (goodness gracious) have been know to use a choice word or two in extreme situations. It is at these times that my mouth is pouring out evil. It is at these times that I am a fool. And frankly, upon reflection, these foolish times happen more often than I'd like to admit. When I am at work, I vent my frustrations to co-workers who listen and commiserate. But, do I really want to be "that person"? Do I want to be the person at work who loses my temper and complains about this, that, or the other thing? No, I don't. I want my words to bring comfort and joy to those around me. I want to control my anger and frustration, rather than vent it out and apologize for that venting later.

So, for Lent this year, I am giving up complaining and gossiping. I want to be a wife who offers words of comfort and love during the time I spend with my husband. I want to be a mother who shows my daughter, through my words and the tone of my voice, that I love her, and that if I do need to correct her behavior, it is out of love for her, concern for her safety, and a desire that she grows into a kind, caring, loving, wise individual. I want to be the person at work who brings calm, joy, and assistance to those around me.

This won't be easy. As someone who feels the need to "vent" often and loudly, I will need to check myself before the evil pours from my mouth. As I walked from the subway station to my office this morning, I asked God for His help. I am imperfect and weak, and this task will be hard for me. I asked Him for guidance, for assistance, and, when I fail, for forgiveness. It is my fervent prayer that challenging myself to improve the words that come out of my mouth will also improve the thoughts of my heart. You see, I haven't forgotten this post, when I quoted a line from Crazy Love by Francis Chan: "The point of your life is to point to Him." Lent is a time to re-evaluate, to re-prioritize, and to make changes to ensure that your life is bringing Him glory.

May you all have a reflective, prayerful, blessed Lenten season!