Mourning

As Carey walked in the door tonight, Abby looked at him over the back of the chair and told him, "Daddy, today Doug died and went up to heaven to be with Jesus."

He was a big man. Yes, he was physically tall, but he also had a big personality. He was always smiling. He was always laughing.

Doug and Abigail - Christmas Day 2008

 

He was a veteran. He served in the Navy during World War II. He lived his love for his country during his military service and every day after.

Doug and the Kowalczyk Clan - Independence Day 2011

 

But, what I will remember most is the love and care that he showed for my mother. The many outings and events they would attend together. The times that something in my mom's house needed to be fixed and he knew just who to call. The calls to say hello and make sure that she was okay. The flowers that were delivered to work every week to brighten her day and remind her that she was loved.

Doug, Zachary, and Mom - Christmas Eve 2011

I sat on the couch, trying to explain his death to Abby. This is the first time that I've really had to explain death to my child. Her great-grandmother passed away in January, but Abby had never met her in person. Abby, however, does know Doug. She asks about him whenever we talk about Grandma Jadwiga. She prays for him every night when she says her prayers. She saw him just a few weeks ago when we were upstate for Labor Day. How can I explain to a 4 year old that she will not see Doug again? I explained that Doug had gotten very sick and since Doug had been alive for much longer than Abby, sometimes his body had a harder time fighting off the yucky germs. I explained that the doctors and nurses did everything they could to help Doug get better. But, God had decided that it was time for Doug to go to heaven. As the tears welled up in Abby's eyes, I told her that it was okay to be sad - that we would miss Doug, and Grandma Jadwiga would miss Doug, and Doug's daughter and her family would miss Doug. But I told her that we can also be happy, because Jesus is so excited to welcome Doug into heaven. I reminded her that Doug was a good, kind man and God loves him very much. So we should also be happy that Doug is with Jesus right now. Abby then looked at me and said, "I bet Jesus will give Doug a big hug." Yes, sweetheart, I bet He will.

Rest in peace, Doug. God bless you.