Thankful for Forgiveness

One of the things that I've been coming to terms with lately is forgiveness. I need to be more forgiving to others. I need to be more forgiving to myself. I need to learn how to accept forgiveness. And frankly, it's hard.

It's hard to swallow my pride and apologize. It's hard to be the person to admit that I was wrong or misinformed or that I over-reacted. It's hard to look at myself and my actions and realize that the same things tend to trip me up, time and again. And it's hard to understand why God would continue to forgive me and love me in spite of my frailty and weakness and sinfulness.

On Wednesday night, I had an amazing reconciliation experience at my church. I had a discussion with one of our parish priests, and I walked away with a new openness in my heart - an openness to accepting God's forgiveness. Father James suggested that I read the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke, Chapter 15). But, instead of looking at it from the point of view of the younger son, he suggested that I look at it from the point of view of the father. I used to view the parable from the perspective of the older son - in my mind, he was right in his indignation. Why should his brother be given such a warm welcome after squandering so much of his father's hard-earned gains? Why should the younger brother have a new robe and the fattened calf when the older son wasn't given so much as a goat to eat with his friends? The older son's reaction made sense to me. But, then I revisited forgiveness.

The father was forgiving. He was so happy to see his youngest son alive that what had happened in the interim didn't make a difference. He was filled with such joy at his son's return that he didn't care how he'd spent his inheritance. The father rejoiced at the sight of his son. God does that with us. Every single time we turn away from him, whether through sin, neglect, or ignorance, God welcomes us back with the kind of joy with which the father welcomes home the prodigal son. God is happy to have us back. When we approach him with sorrow in our hearts, he welcomes us back with tears of joy and professions of love and promises of support. Rather than dwelling on our sinfulness and all the things that filled our life during those "dark moments," God is so happy to have us back that he just doesn't care. Obviously, he doesn't want us to sin. But when we approach him with genuine repentance and ask for His forgiveness, He is joyful.

Of course, the doubt always creeps in that I am wholly unworthy of God's forgiveness and mercy and love. This is when it is important to not only learn how to forgive, but also how to be accepting of forgiveness. I'm not worthy. Nothing I do could make me worthy. But, by the grace of God, I am able to accept that I have been forgiven. And that, friends, is a powerful feeling.

So, here we are on Good Friday. Today, we remember the fact that Jesus died for us, for all of us, so that we could be forgiven. So that our sinfulness could be washed away and we could return to God, like the prodigal son, with repentance in our heart and know that He will forgive us again. Always.