Pregnancy Update - February

Who doesn't love a good pregnancy update? I mean, really, doesn't everyone want to read about how my insides have finally stopped turning inside out, how I fall asleep everywhere, and how ordinary things like blowing my nose and brushing my teeth have become ordeals that oftentimes bring tears to my eyes? Seriously, from that little teaser, aren't you interested???


The good:

I have finally stopped throwing up. Finally. I have even stopped constantly feeling like I was going to throw up. I wouldn't quite say that my appetite has returned, but I am able to eat and keep down my prenatal vitamins. So, victory. The morning sickness/nausea was definitely worse with this pregnancy than with Abby, resulting in a big fat, er, skinny little, zero pounds of weight gain in my first trimester. The doctor told me to eat what I can when I can, so I'm doing my best to eat whenever I'm feeling even the slightest bit hungry.

I'm pretty sure that I've felt the baby move. I know the difference between baby movement and gas, and this is definitely baby movement. I'm hoping that the movements become more pronounced over the coming days and weeks.

The belly is getting bigger. Just yesterday, I had a co-worker tell me that my belly looked "so cute." I love looking at my expanding, rounded belly, knowing that there is a little person in there, growing and developing and depending upon me. As I often tell Carey: "Making people is hard work, but I love it." I obviously love the end result (Hello, adorable little Abigail!), but I also love being pregnant. Even in the midst of "the bad" and "the ugly" (see below), I love it.

I cannot wait for Abigail to be a big sister. She vacillates between wanting a baby sister or a baby brother, but she seems excited to know that Mommy has a baby in her belly. I'm certain, after almost 3 years of being the only show in town, that Abby will have some adjusting to do, but I am excited to see her interact with a sibling. She knows that Mommy and Daddy are going to make the office into the baby's room, and that babies are very little and sleep a lot. She even burps her baby dolls and "wraps them up toasty" in blankets to keep them warm at night. She is such a sweet girl, and I pray that she will also be a sweet big sister!


The bad:

I am tired. All the time. Still. Most evenings, I fall asleep on the couch or on Abby's bed, and often wake up with a little face, very close to mine, telling me "It's not time to go sleep, Mommy. Wake up!" Thankfully, Carey has been my hero and takes amazing care of Abby when these sleeping spells hit me. I am definitely hoping that I become less tired as the weeks go on - I'm waiting for that burst of second trimester energy!

I don't know if my muscles are all stretched out or what, but sudden movements often give me pains in my stomach. These go away pretty quickly, but a mistimed bend at the waist or an accidental toddler knee to the hip can be pretty painful...

My head is a mess. My gums are so tender when I brush my teeth that I often notice them bleeding, despite my best efforts at being very, very careful. I've also noticed my nose bleeding - never a lot, but usually when I blow my nose. I'm using saline nasal spray and a humidifier, and it seems to be helping a little. I'm hoping that my nose will stop giving me so much trouble once we can turn the heat off.


The ugly:

I am afraid. There are days when I am absolutely terrified that something will happen to this baby. With our last pregnancy, we lost the baby with no outward signs or symptoms, and I am fearful that it could happen again. I find myself ecstatic when we see our little one moving on the ultrasound or hear his/her heartbeat at the doctor's office. But there is always that nagging feeling in the back of my mind: we saw a healthy baby last time, too, and look at what happened... Instead of allowing myself the joy of seeing an active baby with a strong heartbeat, I find myself worrying about what will happen at our next appointment four weeks down the road. This is not where I want to be in this pregnancy, but I'm having a very difficult time moving past fear...


So, there you go - February's pregnancy update. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And yet, through it all, I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed us with this little life. The chance to be a mommy again is such a blessing, and I am trying to not take a single moment for granted. Your prayers for Baby Ng are definitely appreciated!